at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize