oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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