This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
