how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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