Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize