I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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