bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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