She said her name was "party"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
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Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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