Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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