I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
