I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
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do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
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i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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