Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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