4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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