I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
