We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
