Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I think my vagina is haunted
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
