i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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