I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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