I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize