I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
