It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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