so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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