We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Welp...herpes.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
