Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize
