I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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