It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
How does it feel to date your dad?
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