i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
