Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize