Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
