You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
