I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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