i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
