You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
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