why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
