Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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