Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I deserve this hangover.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
