He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
What a dumb baby whore.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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