So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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