Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
