It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
