I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
