I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
