I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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