Yo dont text me then not text me
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
