Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize