Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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