Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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