I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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