Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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