I'm sorry my penis didn't work
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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