Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
