Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Never underestimate the power of titties
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