Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
