i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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