Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
