Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Your shirt... Was in my pants
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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