This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
