i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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