hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
