I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
