oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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