new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
