there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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