yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
