And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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