you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
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she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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