:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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